Today is our son's thirtieth birthday, so I wrote him a personal note. I thought I would pass it along in case there are other families out there with thirty-year-old offspring still under foot and needing a word of encouragement:
Dear Son,
Today you're thirty. Before you begin applying for Social Security (although the way Congress is going, it might be good to get yours while you can), I thought I would encourage you by noting some of the advantages of having reached your plateau:
1. You look more attractive to women who are looking for more mature men.
2. You can stop worrying about whether your clothes are the latest style.
3. You can claim dementia for everything you forget and it begins to make sense.
4. You can trust people over thirty.
5. You can say "When you've lived as long as I have..." and sound like you mean it.
6. Teen aged servers at McDonalds start giving you Senior Discounts.
7. You're one year closer to your Golden Buckeye Card.
8. Car insurance gets cheaper (This is for real).
9. College professors begin treating you like you have brain (This also is for real).
10. You get to laugh at the way teenagers dress.
11. You no longer have to show your I.D. to prove your age.
12. You're old enough to do it, but smart enough not to.
Congrats and have a good day. While you're at it, have a good year. I'm proud of you.
Love,
Dad
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You know, you also have a daughter who was born on the same date as your son. Sure she's not thirty, graying, or in dire need of dentures, but a little recognition wouldn't hurt. Just not anything too embarrassing (i.e. anything to do with dog food). You've used her for sermon illustrations (not NEARLY as much as the other two, thank goodness), so I, your youngest and most charming, give you full permission to use amazing stories about me. I love you, Dad!
ReplyDelete~Jennifer McIntyre
Since I began this blog with two stories about you - "Lady Talksalot" and "Spud" - I didn't think you were being left out. But I should have acknowledged your birthday anyway, so I hereby promise to do something. Now, what was that thing about dog food?
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